Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Official Movie Soundtrack

Click on a song title to view lyrics

1. Old Home Guard (Overture)
2. Age of Not Believing
3. With A Flair
4. Step In The Right Direction
5. Eglantine/Don't Let Me Down: (Reprise) Eglantine
6. Portobello Road
7. Portobello Street Dance
8. Beautiful Briny
9. Substitutiary Locomotion
10. (Reprises): Eglantine/Portobello Road
11. Finale
12. Nobody's Problems
13. Solid Citizen
14. Fundamental Element

Other Items of Interest:

Call out the navy
Call out the ranks
Call out the air force
Call out the tanks
From the Cliffs of Dover
Call up the gulls
And don't forget
the loyal territorials
But who's digging in here
Who will defend
Every inch of England
no matter what they send
Who's standing firm
in our own front yard
The soldiers of the Old Home Guard
that's who
The soldiers of the Old Home Guard

For we wrote the story
of the old brigade
We know the glory
of yesterday's parades

Who's standing firm
in our own front yard
The soldiers of the Old Home Guard
that's who
The soldiers of the Old Home Guard

When you rush around in hopeless circles
Searching ev'rywhere for something true
You're a t the age of not believing
When all the "make believe" is through

When you set aside your childhood heroes
And your dreams are lost up on a shelf
You're a t the age of not believing
And worst of all you doubt yourself

You're a castaway where no one hears you
On a barren isle in a lonely sea
Where did all the happy endings go?
Where can all the good times be?

You must face the age of not believing
Doubting ev'rything you ever knew
Until at last you start believing
There's something wonderful...
Truly wonderful in you

I'm a fraud, a hoke
a charlatan, a joke
But they love me everywhere
And it really doesn't matter
What I say, what I say
As long as I say it
with a flair

First I rattle off a ready stock
of gibberish and poppycock
And fix you with my best
hypnotic stare

With my moans and groans
and soporific tones
They have cheered me everyone
For it really doesn't matter
What I say, what I say
I sell it when I tell it
with a "seemus alabeem"

The magicians' nursery rhyme
Abracadabra!
You succumb to it every time
Wave a stick and each trick
Will mystify and disarm
In fact, to coin a fitting phrase
It works like a charm

So it really doesn't matter
What I brew, what I brew
As long as I brew it
with a flair

Although I've never cast a magic spell
I make the motions very well
My showmanship is far beyond compare
I'm a rogue, a rake
a mountebank of fake
But I do
whatever I dare

For it really doesn't matter
What I do, what I do
You buy my charms and poxes
'cause they come in fancy boxes
To improve your ugly daughter
I've a vial of colored water
And my magic incantations
can be framed as decorations

Though there's really nothing to it
and, of course, you all see through it
You love me
'cause I do it
With a flair

After all, it's a step in the right direction
It's a step in the right direction after all
After all, it's a step in the direction
It's a step the right direction after all

When the baby spider
Wants to trap a fly
Often time, the silken thread
Will come awry
Though a tangles web is all that he can claim
It's a step in the right direction all the same

All the same, it's a step in the right direction
It's a step in the right direction all the same
All the same, it's a step in the right direction
It's a step in the right direction all the same

When the little sparrow
Wants to leave the nest
First he has to put his feathers to the test
Tumbling from a treetop can't be called success
But it's a step in the right direction none the less

None the less, it's a step in the right direction
It's a step in the right direction none the less
None the less, it's a step in the right direction
It's a step in the right direction none the less

Watch the tiny totters
Inching up a hill
It may seems to you he's merely standing still
Though the steps he takes are infinitesimal
They're a step in the right direction after all

After all, it's a step in the right direction
It's a step in the right direction after all
After all, it's a step in the direction
It's a step the right direction after all

Let us strike a bargain
You possess a gift
But I can speak the jargon
That can give your gift the needed lift

You possess the know-how
And I command the show how
Oh, how successful you could be
With me

Eglantine, Eglantine
Oh, how you shine
Your lot and my lot have got to combine
Eglantine, Eglantine
Heart to the stars
Destiny calls us
The future is ours
As the shine sells the boot
And the blossoms the fruit
All you need to succeed in your plan
Is the proper ally
Upon whom to rely
And I'm your man

For I have been accruin'
What's nicer than human:
I see things that nobody can
So I humbly suggest
You accept my behess
I'm your man

Eglantine, Eglantine
Oh, how you shine
Your lot and my lot have got to combine
Eglantine, Eglantine
Heart to the stars
Destiny calls us
The future is ours

With my expert pantomiming
The proper taste and timing
I'll introduce you in the monogram

I'll wet their appetite for you
I'll set the scene so right for you
We'll have the beggars eating out of your hand

As the words sell the tune
And the moon beams the moon
All you need to succeed in your plan
Is a champion rare
With a flourish
And a flair
And I'm your man

I have always had a bit of a knack for witchcraft
Common spells and simple charms came naturally
So when the war began
I conjured up a plan
To do my bit
In the national emergency

I enrolled in your Correspondence College of Witchcraft
And I slaved at every lesson as it came
But the spell I counted on
Is the lesson that is gone
It's disappeared,
And you're the one to blame

Your suggestions are rash
And your manner is brash
And I've no time to waste,
Mister Browne
If I am to proceed
It's that book that I need
Don't let me down

But if you'll see me through
I'll discuss it with you
Though I've no taste for playing the clown
If I meet with success
I might acquieth-

I won't let you down

Eglantine, Eglantine
Oh, how you shine
Your lot and my lot have got to combine
Eglantine, Eglantine
Heart to the stars
Destiny calls us
The future-

Mister Browne, I'm warning you-

I warned you Mister Browne,
Now where is the book?

Portobello Road, Portobello Road
Streets where the riches
of ages are stowed
Anything and everything
a chap can unload

Is sold off the barrow
in the Portobello Road
You'll find what you want
in the Portobello Road

Salesman
Rare alabaster

Professor Browne
Genuine plaster

Bass voice
A filigreed samovar owned by the czars

Salesman 1
A pen used by Shelley
A new Botticelli
The snippers that clipped
old King Edward's cigars

Saleswoman
Waterford crystal

Man
Napoleon's pistols

Jewelry Man
Society heirlooms
with genuine gums

Painting Man
Rembrandts, El Grecos
Toulouse "Lautrecos"

Professor Browne
Painted last week
on the banks of the Thames

Professor Browne & Children
Portobello Road, Portobello Road
Street where the riches
of ages are stowed

Professor Browne
Anything and everything
a chap can unload
Is sold off the barrow
in Portobello

Fancy Women
You'll meet all your chums
in the Portobello Road

Professor Browne
There's pure inspiration
in every creation

Garment Woman
No cheap imitation
Not here in me store
With garments as such
as worn by a duchess

Professor Browne
Just once at some
royal occasion of you

Women & Professor Browne
In Portobello Road, Portobello Road
The fancies and fineries
of ages are showed

Carrie
A lady will always
feel dressed a la mode
In frillies she finds

Carrie & Charlie
In the Portobello Road

Book Seller
Burkes' Peerages, The Bride Book
The Fishmongers Guidebook
A Victorian novel "The Unwanted Son"
The History of Potting
The Yearbook of Yachting
The leather bound "Life of Attila the Hun"

Chorus
Portobello Road, Portobello Road
Streets where the riches
of ages are stowed
Artifacts to glory a regal abode
Are hidden in the flotsam
in Portobello Road

Tokens and treasures
Yesterday's pleasures
Cheap imitations of heirlooms of old
Dented and tarnished
Scared and unvarnished
In old Portobello
They're bought and they're sold

Tokens and treasures
Yesterday's pleasures
Cheap imitations of heirlooms of old
Dented and tarnished
Scared and unvarnished
In old Portobello
They're bought and they're sold

Paul
You can eat like a king
in the Portobello Road

Professor Browne
Portobello Road, Portobello Road
All kinds of things are happening
in Portobello Road
You fell like a ballerina
when you're hopping like a toad
When you kick your heels up
down in Portobello Road

Portobello Road, Portobello Road
Street where the riches
of ages are stowed
Anything and everything
a chap can unload

Either this is an instrumental track or I have not yet found the lyrics for it.

How pleasant, bobbing along
Bobbing along on the bottom of the beautiful briny sea
What a chance to get a better peep
At the plants and creatures of the deep

We glide
Far below the rolling tide
Serene
Through the bubbly blue and green

It's lovely, bobbing along
Bobbing along on the bottom of the beautiful briny sea
What if the octopus
The flounder and the cod
Think we're rather odd
It's fun to promenade
Bobbing along, sing a song
On the bottom of the beautiful briny sea

Look!

It's lovely, bobbing along
Bobbing along on the bottom of the beautiful briny sea
What a chance to get a better peep
At the plants and creatures of the deep

It's grand
When you're dancing on the sand
Each glance
Bubbles over with romance

It's lovely, bobbing along
Bobbing along through the water where we get along swimmingly
Far from the frenzy
Of the frantic world above
Two beneath the blue
Could even fall in love
Bobbing along, singing a song
On the bottom of the beautiful briny sea
Bobbing along, singing a song
On the bottom of the beautiful briny,
Shimmering shiny, beautiful briny.

Treguna...Mekoites...Tracorum...Satis...Dee

Substitutiary Locomotion
Mystic power that's far
Beyond the wildest notion
It's so weird,
So feared, Yet wonderful to see
Substitutiary Locomotion come to me

Treguna, Mekoites, Tracorum, Satis Dee
Treguna, Mekoites, Tracorum, Satis Dee

I don't want Locomotiary Substitution
Or remote Intransecory Convolution
Only one precise solution is the key
Substitutiary Locomotion it must be
Treguna, Mekoites, Tracorum, Satis Dee

Substitutiary Locomotion
Lovely Substitutiary Locomotion
You've made substitutiary history
With Treguna, Mekoites, and a little help from me
With Treguna, Mekoites, and Tracorum Satis Dee

Either this is an instrumental track or I have not yet found the lyrics for it.

Either this is an instrumental track or I have not yet found the lyrics for it.

No one to miss if he's gone to long
No one to comfort if things go wrong
That's how I want it to be
Nobody's problems for me

No one who needs me to ease his pain
No one to call me his ball and chain
Nobody's problems for me
And that's how I choose it to be

No problems and strife
In this life that I lead
No tempers to humor
No hungers to feed

No one to warm when the winter's cold
No one to pamper; no hand to hold
And that's how I choose it to be
No, nobody's problems for me

Either this is an instrumental track or I have not yet found the lyrics for it.

Either this is an instrumental track or I have not yet found the lyrics for it.